


The Hidden Sin

by xXPaintedLadyXx



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Depression, F/M, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Other, Past Relationship(s), Post-Canon, Self-Discovery, Self-Hatred, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-21 15:47:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11947458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXPaintedLadyXx/pseuds/xXPaintedLadyXx
Summary: Sadness was once considered the 8th sin, discover why...





	The Hidden Sin

_Prologue 1935_

_Here I am in the same place or same situation rather, in this case an old, dusty warehouse outside a town. Dangling from the ceiling is a rusty old chain and a meat hook wearing out the fourth hole in my choker. What is this the hundredth no thousandth time I’ve tried this? Why do I bother? It never does anything. Pretty sure I dislocated my collarbone and my neck is broken. Nice now I’ve wrinkled the leather and completely ruined it. I pry the hook out of the hole and land on the ground with a thud on my feet although. Glancing out the broken window at the brightness of the moon I’d say its somewhere before or after midnight. I had better get back to the caravan before someone knows I’m gone. I exit the warehouse and head toward a hill to the south. I run up the hill well more like sprinting. I’m not even winded it, I’ve been running for most of my life. Sound crazy but it’s true. As I arrive at the top I see the gathering of stands and tents strung with dim lights. I’m part of a traveling band of entertainers, people from all walks of life and parts of the world. It’s not a circus no animals. Except for this one lady who has a horse and claims its psychic. I’m part of a trio of dancers, one of the main acts in the shows we put on. We travel all over the world preforming for anyone who will watch us. In the last few years we’ve gotten popular. I hurry down the incline to my tent I see the workers on the graveyard shift getting our gear prepared for the next move. We’ll be heading out later in the morning, I really need to get some sleep._

As I step in I see Joan or Joan of Arc as she’s known on stage. She snores heavily and drools a puddle on her bed. As I creep to my bed a muffled voice catches me. “Where were you?” Asks a large bundle of strawberry blonde hair on a hammock. That’s Venus named after the classical goddess of beauty Venus de Milo. “You know where I was… Nothing special.” I tell her. Venus is a very promiscuous girl no one goes on playing on the streets without her. But these two know well enough of when I want to be isolated or party all night long. She turns over pulling her sheets making the hammock jostle as she moves. “We’ll leaving in a few hours…” Venus moans to me. “I know.” I say falling onto my bed enjoying the sweet embrace of sleep. Of course, it feels like five minutes later when I’m woken up back the two girls yelling. “Come on get up its almost time to go!” Joan shouts. “Okay I’m up… I didn’t get a whole lot of rest.” I complain back to them. “Well that’s not our fault! Go dunk your head in some water or something.” Joan replies. I stumble off half-awake to the stable in hopes to dip my head in a water trough. When I got there, I ask the stable hand for a bucket of water. He’s obliges and only asks that I take the paranormal horse back to her owner when I’m done. I bring the horse to her trailer at our site and I rejoin the girls who wait for me with hot coffee. I take the cup gratefully, “Thank you.” As I go to sip I hesitate. “There’s sugar in this right?” I grumble to them. “Duh we know what you like!” Joan says in a chipper tone. I swallow the hot liquid and we all hop into the running car. None of us ever learned to drive too busy practicing dances for the shows.

Usually older members of the staff drive the cars. “So, where we off to this time around?” Venus asks poking her nose into our personal space. “We’re going to Xing.” Joan answers. I rise a brow in sleep deprived confusion. I lift myself from the seat of the car and turn to the girls. Then I remember the caravan visiting Xing only one other time, several years before me or the girls joined. “The good part is there’s a railway going through the desert now.” Joan adds. Hey this’ll be our first time on a train, sweet I can sleep on the way there. We arrive on the station about twenty minutes later, we’re ushered onto the train it seems we have it all to ourselves. The three of us huddle into a middle section of the train cart. Joan and Venus give up one of the benches for myself while they gossip. “We’ll get there in a few hours so you can rest all you need Dove.” Joan says. “Thanks, but you sure I can take a whole seat?” I inquire. Venus giggles, “Drop it, will you? We know you’re a night owl silly catch some z’s.” She insists. I slide into the red trim of the seat and I pull my brown trench coat over me as a blanket and settle in. “I hear the emperor is total stud muffin can’t wait to see him.” Joan snickers. “If that’s any case the women must even more so.” Venus grins. As they chatter away I doze off to the loud gridding of the rail wheels.

A loud bombardment by the train horn startles me awake. I throw my head to the window and see an entirely different landscape. We’re in Xing, Venus and Joan are ecstatic. They run out as soon as the train grinds to a holt. As I step out of the cart and the cool air hits me as I exit. I pull my coat over my thin shoulders and stare out over the landscape. Mountains erupt from the ground like dull swords riddled with green growth. There are raging rivers with tall red and gold temples on the shores. Some of the hillsides are curved like steps, I feel like I’ve entered into another world. “Hurry up Dove let’s go this place is amazing!” Venus waves her arms to me. Workers unload our luggage I grab my bag and I trail along after the two. “We can’t just run off guys we have get everything organized and the caravan needs to find the place we’ll staying.” I say this collectively for all of us. The two sigh, sure I’m a kill joy but work first then play. Once the luggage is off the I assume Xingese workers come with large creatures called elephants. They have long trunks and big flappy ears, probably the largest animal I’ve ever seen. We load our stuff on the animals and ride them to our designated area. We were invited by the Xingese for a festival it started a few years back to celebrate the unification with Amestris. We set up in a wide field near the main city and the imperial palace over a tree line. It takes about five hours but the stage is finally up and our tents and stands ready for a lengthy and crazy night.

“Okay ladies show time is in two hours.” Our instructor tells us. Before we left we’d been practicing a new dance number. “We’ve been at this one for what a week now?” I ask sarcastically. “Yeah right, try like two and a half weeks.” Venus scoffs stretching. “Hey, it’s not the band’s fault the guy in brass broke his arm.” Joan retorts pinning up her long black hair. “It doesn’t matter we already replaced the choreography.” I shrug at them both. “And if we do this like we’ve been doing it this will be the best rehearsal and show to date.” I say confidently. We turn on the phonograph and position ourselves in center of backstage. As the music begins to course the rhythm breathes life to our bones. Our hips shake and sway to the beat, our bodies slaves to the song. It’s as if something lying dormant inside me has awoken and screams for freedom. For some this is pain for me its ecstasy. The world disappears and I fall into a place unfamiliar to most. But at fast as I come to this it quietly ends. The music flats and I find myself breathing heavy and covered in sweat.

We clean up and get in our dresses for the evening show. We wear a mix of belly dancer skirts, silk veils, and various pieces of jewelry. Mine has an open top the straps are loose and the bottom cuts to separate wavy pieces of fabric. My skirt is long with a golden wrap on the waist. The veil flows over my nose and mouth and a heavy gold neckless. My outfit is a navy blue, Joan’s is a yellow and Venus’ is pink. We have special bounds on our feet to prevent injuries. Venus does our makeup applying some eye shadow and light lip stick. The band preps their instruments and we give ourselves a final breather then we stand behind the curtain on stage. We stand patiently as the curtain draw away and the lights burn our outlines to the massive crowd before us. Suddenly as the music starts we come alive gliding and rattling across the stage like a ravenous snake on the hunt. The feeling is incredible like I’m filled with lightning, a living storm at this point in the dance I’m no longer in control. It’s as though something else takes over like in practice just more powerful. And whatever it is makes the crowd go wild, they yell and cheer in a frenzy. The show is about to reach its climax Joan and Venus sheathe me in our scarfs. The audience watches in awe and befuddlement as I’m cocooned. All goes silence and the stage slowly fades to dark leaving them in suspense. And then the music abruptly commences, the lights return, and I emerge from my metamorphosis. A blinding image of white my hair, my skin, and my clothing. I hear gasps and eyes stare in awe and finally thunderous applause. We bow deeply as the curtains close and the show ends for the night. I look back at the two girls breathless in admiration. “See! What I tell you?” ...

We’re free for the rest of the night after the show the girls and I are pumped to be exploring the festival. “Hey, before we do anything I need to eat something.” I say. “That’s funny coming from Ms. I skip meals.” Venus mocks. Joan objects, “Give her a rest Venus besides look at all our opinions.” She’s right the street is transformed to a night market with shops and stands serving all kinds exotic foods to try. And knowing Joan she’ll try it all one way or another. “Yeah but we can’t read the signs.” Venus replies sourly in disappointment. I shake my head too determined, “Then screw it the first thing you want to eat go for it!” I proclaim. At that Joan run like a mad bull out of our sights. I slap my forehead, good job idiot Venus and I immediately catch up as we find her at small stand selling a type of noodle soup. “First thing she saw huh?” Venus says. Yeah maybe I should have clarified. She could’ve gone to a place selling spiders or scorpions on a stick, they eat those things here like candy.

Thankfully she found this, and what’s she eating appears fairly simple. A bowl with a hearty broth noodles, veggies, and slices of meat. I take a seat next to Joan an order a bowl myself, “So what this call?” I ask her. “Rawma…” She replies chewing. “Ramen?” I repeat. Joan nods her head. As I get mine Joan is just about done with hers. The bowl is scowling and scope the noodles with chop sticks the Xingese equal to a fork. I burn my mouth from the broth yet the taste of the noodles is delicious. The spices and flavors in the Raman is fantastic yet a chilling feeling washes over me. There are people surrounding us so why this creeping sense of one person. I take a deep breath and scan the crowd of people. Then in a glimpse of the hanging lanterns I see a dark silhouette of a tall man and his unusually scary feature… His smile is like sharks’ teeth. I quick spin my head back to my bowl only to see Joan running off again and Venus going after. “Joan hang on its not going anywhere!” She shouts. Joan is too distance for either of us to hear her answer. Great, I’m alone thanks for being so trusting girls. I think bitterly to myself, “I know someone was looking at me… I just don’t know who though.” I mutter to myself. “Damn right sweet heart.”

A deep voice rings out behind me. I slowly turn around to see a tall man in a pair of tacky circle shades, black spiky hair, a fur rim vest, and the same shark like grin. My heart goes to my throat and a chill goes down my spine. He chuckles a bit as I realize loose noodles hang from my mouth. I look down, “Uh crap…” I mumble. I rush to put the noodles in my mouth as the man laughs aloud. “Relax babe, I don’t bite.” He says so nonchalantly. I don’t buy it, “Really, your teeth say otherwise.” I remark. “Well it can’t be helped.” He says attempting to be charming and removes the dumb shades. “So, do you enjoy creeping on people in open public?” I say glaring and resume eating. He takes a seat next to me, “Only when they are of interest to me…” He coos. I’m simultaneously disturbed and morbidly curious, of all people.

I try to ignore him like a fly buzzing in your face, but he is persistent. “I saw your show…” He says at last. I make a mental note of that, where else would he have seen you, dumbass?! Might as well play along for now, I mean I’ve got all night. “I assume you enjoyed it?” I ask a tad calmer. “You bet but let’s cut to the chase.” He leans in close mere inches from me. “What’s a pretty thing like you doing in a place like this?” Oh my god all this flirty crap he’s spouting, I can read him like a book or so I think. “If you couldn’t guess wise guy I’m part of a traveling caravan of performers. My friends and I are dancers.” I retort proudly. “What’s your name?” He inquires, figures that one was coming. “You first…” I smirk walking away from the Raman stand. He stands and follows me, “The name’s Greed.” He answers. Don’t know why but I burst out laughing literally almost landing on the ground. “Hahah what? Greed? That’s your name what the hell?” I have to gather my composer afterwards. He shakes his head clearly not amused, “Okay smartass what’s your name?” He repeats the question.

My smile fades and my laughter dies, “Don’t have one, next?” He confronts on this, “What you do you don’t have a name? Everyone does! At the show, the announcer called you Mourning Dove or something like-.” I cut him off right there, “It’s a stage name all performers have one.” I want to drop this subject as soon as possible. I hear frustration rising in his voice, “So you don’t have an actual name? At all?” He says again. “Yes, moving on.” I say flatly. “Why?” He insists on the question, why does he care? “Greed you said? I just don’t have a real name okay?!” Nonetheless he presses on further, “What about your parents didn’t they-?” He efforts on. I snap there, “I DON’T HAVE ANY PARENTS, OKAY!” I scream in hopes to shut him up. He gawks at me in shock his eyes wide his mouth fastened. I look away from him and run to the edge of the festival. I collapse and curl up to my knees near a river bank. Minutes later I hear grass crunch under a pair of boots, I face straight ahead as the stars reflect in the river mouth. “Hey, I didn’t mean to hurt you… I was pushing my limit with you…” The man called Greed says this sincerely. “People don’t usually bring up that kind stuff when they talk to me, it’s a very-” I go to say but Greed interrupts. “Touchy subject? Yeah I caught that real fast.” We sit in silence for a while before one of us speaks again. “I’ve been on my own as long as I remember it wasn’t until a few years back that I joined the caravan. I’ve been alone on the run from place to place. Never knowing if I could trust anyone or even care.” I exhale in the cool night air.

Greed stares down at me confused, “So why are you telling me this?” I shut my eyes and smile, “Because if you didn’t care you would’ve left by now.” I say slyly and his face flushes red at the answer. “Now you tell me something sharky.” I tease. “Why of all people approach me and not one of my friends?” He seems more flustered at that then the caring statement. “This is gonna sound cheesy but your hair is really nice.” I can’t help but snort at his embarrassment. “Well thank you.” I crack a smile and he beams back at me. “Hey, you look a lot more beautiful when you smile.” My face feels hot, great now I’m the one blushing. I stand back up and take Greed by the hand, “Okay my turn what are you doing here?” He follows suit, “A good friend of mine is the emperor of Xing, actually.” I stop dead in my tracks, I give an unapproving expression. “Honest!” He says. “I make it a rule to never tell a lie.” I sneer, “Most guys I ever heard about make it a point of lying like it’s a talent.” Greed grabs me albeit gently by the waist and replies, “Excuse me I’m not most guys.” I feel my cheeks heating up again I can’t tell if it’s from him invading my personal bubble or he might be cute. I find the strength to respond fight through the blush, “Yes you’ve made that very obvious.” I could not be more uncomfortable right now, I try to change the mood I suggest we leave the festival area. Then Greed remarks if its past my curfew, yeah right like I’m sleeping anytime soon. Being the gentleman, he is Greed offers me a tour of Xing more specifically secret or forbidden locations. I can’t resist an opportunity to try something like this. The question I’m asking is why me of all people to take on this little adventure. Regardless of the reason we escape into the night to do who knows what.

…

We sneak by the royal palace running like maniacs through the streets. I assume by his behavior he does this on a regular basis. “Are you sure your friend the emperor isn’t gonna mind?” I ask breathlessly. “It’s no big deal.” Sure, he says that now, but it makes me think how many times he gotten into trouble? I still can’t believe how amazing this place this, I found myself staring off in the distance of the landscape. “Getting lost in the scenery?” Greed teases. “What can I say this place is like a paradise.” I reply. “Hard to disagree there Xing really does take the cake.” He stands beside me. “I thought the same when I first arrived.” I glance over. “Wait, you’re not from Xing, then where are from?” I query. “Originally I’m from Amestris.” He answers. “Really?” He nods, “Yes, but it’s a long story.” I lift a brow and smirk, “We have all night… I mean.” I say pushing for him continue. “Alright sweet heart take seat and listen closely.”

We sit under a cypress tree and he weaves me a tale of unimaginable portions. Owning a bar in a town called Dublith that he ran with a group of chimeras. They were people the government had experimented on with alchemy and made them part animal. From the sounds of it Greed saved them, or for a time… After years of living the good life it all came crumbling down. There was a vicious raid on the bar by the previous Fuhrer of the country. Greed watched that day as his friends were gunned down. He said part of him died that day and can still see their faces. I’m speechless I want to say something but how can I sympathize. I’ve never known that kind horrid emptiness. The proud smile has washed away and is replaced with hatred and distress, yet also relief as though he’s gotten a weight off his chest. Instead of words I act, I scoot in and hold his hand and rest my head against his shoulder. I can at the very least show I care and I’ll listen. To my surprise his hand grasps back, interlocking his fingers between mine.

I notice on the other hand he has a tattoo, “That’s an interesting tat you’ve got.” Greed brings up his left hand, “I guess it is not many people I knew had it.” He explains. “It’s an ouroboros the symbol of rebirth and eternal life.” I stare intently at the snake ensnaring a triangle. Greed becomes silent with a stressed expression, “What’s wrong?” I inquire. He clears his throat, “Can I confess something to you?” I nod my head slowly. “I’m a homunculus… Do you know what that means?” I stared dumbfounded at the very words, “Uh…No.” I say plainly. Ignorance isn’t always bliss as I soon learn. “I’m an artificial human I was made using alchemy.” He answers finally. I perk my lips and roll my eyes around my head, “Okay…” I retort softly. He raises a brow, “I don’t know whole lot about alchemy so…” I feel getting defensive. “No, no it was my bad I shouldn’t have assumed everyone knows alchemy.” Greed replies. I can’t help but be slightly curious at this revelation. “Just how different are you from other people?” He simply shrugs. “You could say I was built a bit sturdier than most and last longer.” I blink at the comment. “By last longer how old are you, exactly?” I dare to ask. He snickers, “Two hundred years old.” Okay…Was not expecting anything like that, my mind is blown. We walk on a dirt road the chirps of cicadas and crickets helps me process everything.

The wind blows from behind my trench coat keeps most of me warm but a chill gets my neck. I grab at my coat and ignore the frigid air, it was fun but now it’s just boring. Up ahead I see an old bridge and get an idea, “Hey Greed watch this.” I sprint to the aged structure and jump onto the wooden frame. “I don’t think that’s smart, Dove.” Greed warns me. I don’t listen and begin to do tricks on the flimsy boards. “Oh, please you think this is bad I’ve done worse.” I reply teasingly. I balance myself on thin piece of metal. But the blissful moment vanishes, I feel weightless for several seconds. Not for very long I dangle by my wrist and see Greed hauling me back on the bridge. “Okay I take it back you were right!” I don’t have time to react as the bridge continues to collapse. Greed holds me bridal as he leaps off and lands on solid ground. He stares at me side smirking and not happy with my choice of action.

“Okay I have no doubts about you being an artificial person. Not that I ever really did…” My voice trailing off. “Like I said, stupid idea and please don’t try that again.” I take a rough sigh of relief only to choke up as I glance at Greed’s hands. “Why are your hands black?” I inquire. Greed chuckles, “That’s my ultimate shield.” I’m told it’s an impenetrable dense seal that coats his body when he fights. I put my head against Greed chest as he carries. “Getting tired?” I merely nod, “No worries babe.” We return to the Royal palace, he wasn’t lying when he said he was friends with the emperor. He takes in via a back-door entrance of a huge red gate. The inner area of the palace is practically its own city. Dozens of interconnected buildings and gates. It’s a maze to anyone who’s not familiar. Greed easily makes his way to what I assume are living quarters. We arrive at a small room decorated heavily in red and gold. Lanterns hang on the walls, dragons ran on the rim of the ceiling. Large mirrors, black desk and chairs, and a large bed sheets of silk and cotton.

Greed puts me on my feet, I’m ready to fall asleep when I smell my shirt. I shouldn’t be surprised I danced my body weight in sweat, I ask where the bathroom is. Greed escorts me to a big open chamber its filled with pools hot water. I learn in the east people bathe in bathhouses, cleaning is more a communal thing then private. I toss my coat next to my boots on the floor and go to pull off my top. “Turn around Greed.” I demand knowing he’s peeping from the door way. “I’m not gonna see anything once you’re in.” He disagrees. Once my clothes are gone I step in the steaming hot water. I submerge myself to the neck the water soothing to my aching body.

Suddenly, I feel a lock of my hair lift, “What did I say!?” I hiss as Greed plays with my hair. He just smiles, I roll my eyes. “Fine, but on a few conditions!” I wag my finger in his face. He leans in extremely tempted, “And they would be?” My face is red or so I feel, “One you have to wash my hair! And Two…” I pause thinking of what I want. “You have to be in your shield!” Greed says nothing in response his vest slides to the floor as do his leather pants. Before I can duck in the water the charcoal black matters engulf his body and a whole new face meets mine. The whites of his eyes gone now as black the night sky. His shark like teeth are even more beastly, the bottom canines are now tusks. Strange red lines and nodes run over his face and chest. He hardly what you call human anymore. And I can’t stop myself from staring. “Something wrong sweet heart?” He calls. “Ooh on the contrary sharky…” I curl my index finger beckoning him to join me in the spring water. As he steps in I remember Venus telling me a certain word that describes these ideas of unnatural fantasies. A “fetish” I believe she called it? His slate skin is cold against my own and his nails are needles strong enough to puncture me but he’s remarkably gentle. Those two hundred years gave him a lot of experience he knows his way around the ladies.

On that thought I guess I’m not the only person he’s played his little games on. When I’m done I change into a nightgown and we head back the room. I’m about to crash but Greed won’t shut his mouth. “Hey, you got what you wanted now I get something in return.” I grind my teeth, fine I have one last idea that might do the trick. Catching him off guard I grab his face and kiss him, fully locked on the mouth. I unhinge my lips after five seconds and I find Greed speechless and bright red. “Thank you for a lovely evening it was wonderful, good night.” I pull the sheets over and sink to sleep.

Later at some point in the night I stir to find Greed fast asleep beside me, I spin myself to face him. His right arm around my waist the other under his pillow. His breathing is soft not big on snoring unlike someone else I know. I settle back in to the bed feeling oddly secure as I lay here with him.

…

The next morning, I almost forget where I was the night before. I push the sheets aside and throw my hair back. I yawn and look back to find Greed still sleeping. I get up and search around for my clothes but while in process of doing so a though stroke me. I need to get to the caravan or everyone will think I’m missing. I was never one to run out on my chores for the show, so for me not being there is a bad sign. I spot some paper and ink on the desk in the room and leave a note for Greed. I change to my normal shirt and faded blue shorts and quickly skip into the halls. I don’t see anyone and give a premature sigh and that’s when a literal shadow jumps me. I come face to face with mask of red, black, and white. “Who are you and what are doing in the palace?!” I say the first thing that comes to mind. “Please don’t kill me!” Brilliant! “I-I mean Greed invited me here, okay?” The ninja seems to lower their guard. “The homunculus. You were his consort for the night?” They ask. Consort? I guess that’s the Xingese word for hooker. “No…NO! I just stayed the night!” I state clearly. “I shall escort you out of the palace before you are otherwise seen.” The ninja says. I bow and thank her as I soon realize the ninja is a girl. “I’m going to take a wild guess and presume you know Greed?” I ask her. “Yes, the beast once shared the body of our young lord when he went seeking immortality.” She answers. All right then that’s a can of worm I do not want to open! I’m led to back entrance of the palace like the night prior. As I reach the outside the ninja girl has vanished into nowhere as any ninja would and I haul my ass back to the caravan before there’s trouble. Well more trouble than I usually cause.

**Author's Note:**

> Another big undertaking of a story but I am determined to pull through til the very end. I want to say thanks to ladywiltshire on Tumblr for the awesome Greed headcannon and if you love Greed check her out. There will be more just an FYI the length of each chapter will very.


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